No. 5: Finding work in tech

Ghosted after a job offer and other adventures

This Substack No. 5 was started in July. It was meant to answer the main question I get from people I’ve been mentoring. Until June of this year I could have told you exactly how to find work in tech, but the landscape has shifted in unusual ways. I’m working toward figuring out what it takes to make it in tech these days.

No. 10

By now, I really should have been on my 10th post, but most of what I’ve written feels too personal to share publicly.

Oh what a year it’s been! Lived in my dream apartment. Got my first tattoos ever. Mentored over 100 designers. Painted again. Got super into Pilates. Freelanced again. Started this Substack. Briefly became a startup co-founder. Reconnected with my best friend. Ghosted by a well-known startup CEO after being offered the job (classic Miami). Epic hike through Twin Peaks with other amazing designers. Almost moved to DC. Was told I lack design depth. Ghosted by a dear friend. Phew.

There is absolute uncertainty about what my future will look like, but that’s ok because new is nice always.

I’ll continue to write - without the use of AI - and through my writing I’ll explore this new territory. I tend to group my thoughts into categories and that's what I post. Sometimes I'll have one word that keeps appearing in my mind, like the word Failure, and I'll write around that one word.

Failure

One of the activities I most enjoyed while working in tech are sprint retrospectives. Tech workers are continuously assessing what went wrong, what went well and what can be made better.

My biggest failure came in November. I was a startup co-founder for a few months. We were developing a product that could profoundly impact the emotional and social experiences of children ages 10 to 18. Unfortunately there were logistical challenges that could not be overcome.

My biggest success has been that I became a better designer.

I’m also finally getting rid of people pleasing tendencies.

This year I was unwilling to sacrifice my well-being and/or product quality. Unfortunately, as a consequence, I had to end relationships with a couple of clients because what they demanded would have led to mediocre results and derail my ability to earn future income.

Designers tend to be generous and people-pleasers.

There’s a book by Nedra Glover Tawwab that I recommend to everyone. The book acts as a practical guide that helps readers establish boundaries and prepare for what happens when we do.

The other day someone asked me what scares me. I'm most scared of not being able to provide for my daughter or of her getting very sick. Failure doesn’t seem to scare me anymore.

Connection

Ages ago, I used to make a living designing bespoke wedding invitations and stationery. It was all about communicating the elegance and sentiment of the event while also expressing the couple's personality. I loved the experience and my clients were always happy with me.

For me it was satisfying to obsess over the richness of letterpress ink embossed on perfectly textured Italian paper.

For the client, they were able to share with me their favorite colors, request fanciful illustrations and pick unusual papers they were intuitively drawn to. I would turn what they liked into elegant, shareable objects inspired by them and by our very human need for connection.

UX used to be a lot like designing bespoke wedding stationery. It was the most overlooked part in the product ecosystem, but the most effective at getting users to become emotionally invested in a product.

Miami Vibes

My daughter was telling me recently that:

“People with bad vibes have a good soul, but they will always keep you confused and you will never know what to do.

They’ll say something one day, let’s say you're working on a project, you agree on what to do, you do all the work and next week they'll act like you did it all wrong. Then the next day they will say something else.”

That’s bad vibes to my child. I agree.

I encountered a lot of bad vibes this year.

One of the most unusual experiences I’ve encountered as a working adult, was being ghosted by a grown man and the CEO of a well-known startup in Miami after he offered me the job in person, to my face. He gave me his phone number. We shook hands. I followed up, he promised he would send the offer letter and then nothing.

Ghosting without an explanation is absolutely bad vibes.

I also encountered a lot of good vibes.

I met so many new people this year, gained amazing new friends, found incredible opportunities, became closer with family and reconnected with old friends. Most importantly, I’ve managed to avoid getting myself into situations where I would have probably ended up burned out, again.

Loss

I miss having a job in a tech company. I’ve loved working independently again, but when you’ve worked in tech for a while and try to leave, you soon realize that behaviors that are totally normal and even expected in tech, are way too intense in the normal world.

Very few people understand what it took for me, as a designer, to go from making $50,000 per year to earning $145,000 a few years later. All during a period of intense grief for me.

Two years ago I made over $200,000 (that’s a ton of money for a designer). I was able to buy a house. I was also really very tired. I finally made it, but I desperately needed a break. I ended up quitting my job and selling the house because neither of them felt like gains anymore.

It’s been a very lonely experience.

One of the first things I learned when I moved to the US is that when someone asks "How are you?", don't actually tell them. The appropriate answer is "I'm great! How's it going with you?”. They’ll say something along the lines of "Amazing". That's it. That’s the protocol.

It's been interesting to see how personal Americans have gotten on LinkedIn these last 6 months. It seems absolutely acceptable now to tell people you’re not feeling so great after all.

Maybe we’re all very tired.

Tech can be such a rollercoaster. So many of us have experienced trauma in the workplace and still, I miss having a tech job.

What a year it’s been.

Cheers from Miami,

Eva