No. 4: Why I'm still a designer
On being slow, my birthday, art, and design
On Being Slow
It’s my birthday next week. I don’t usually celebrate it.
July 8 has a way of reminding me how far I feel from the version of success I once imagined. But writing has helped reframe that to mapping how mistakes and detours led to growth I couldn’t have planned.
I write to process. Writing slows things down. It lets me make sense of the mess, organize the grief and figure out how to take better care of myself.
Maybe, by writing it publicly, it can help someone else too.
When I left my job last summer, I felt like a failure.
It’s not a coincidence it was right before my birthday.
But with rest came clarity. Slowing down helped me remember why I love design.
The Power of Design
I just got back from San Francisco after attending Config, Figma’s annual conference for people who build products. It was a love letter to the design community and a reminder of why I became a designer.
To be surrounded by other designers is to be surrounded by people who value both excellence and empathy. Designers are generous. We’re optimistic.
Config was incredible, and I’m already planning to return next year.
Why I Design
I wasn’t trained as a designer. I studied fine art. I specialized in painting. The first job I was proud of was at Miami Art Museum (now PAMM).
When I first started doing design work, I felt it was easy. Clients asked for something; I made it and we were all happy.
To me, design was a tool. A way for clients to bring their vision to life and a way for me to pay rent.
Over time, my practice changed.
The way I design now is relational, not transactional.
What drives me is building healthy relationships with collaborators, clients, and most of all, the people who use what I help create.
And as my practice matured, I found myself less able to simply “give clients what they want.” I deliver, but I no longer center delivery.
From now on, I want to feel proud of the work I put into the world.
Art and Design
I’m writing this from the SFMoMA café.
A few floors away, you’ll find an edition of Marcel Duchamp’s Fountain — a ceramic urinal turned sculpture that disrupted 20th-century art by reframing authorship and intent. Duchamp was also a chess player. He was strategic.
A few rooms away: Yayoi Kusama’s mirror room and her famous pumpkins. People line up to take selfies. I skipped it. It’s beautiful work, but it’s built for virality more than contemplation.
Museums are under pressure. Funding is tight and shows need to attract headlines. In a way, it’s a lot like tech where engagement wins.
Is it art? Sure. Does it matter, when the lights need to stay on?
At Config, I saw Jesper Kouthoofd, founder of Teenage Engineering and designer of SFMoMA’s Art of Noise exhibit. He was interviewed by Dylan Field (Figma’s CEO), and his irreverence was refreshing.
UX Design
When I chose design, I had already ruled out becoming a curator or art dealer. I didn’t want to stay in the art world.
I moved through UI, UX, and now Product Design.
UX is the murkiest of the three.
As a product designer, I know a business can make money without good design. Speed to market wins. Risk gets reduced. Design becomes a checklist.
In theory, UX centers the user. In practice, shortcuts are everywhere. The “user” becomes a metric and empathy is simply out of scope.
Some of what passes for UX is really manipulation. Emotional nudging, guilt-tripping, dark patterns. “Are you sure you want to cancel? 😢” A designer worked on that.
Social media is addictive by design.
A well designed product can cause harm at scale. Juul is an example that comes to mind. Designed by Stanford grads, it used unethical methods, addiction loops, and influencer campaigns to target teens. They used the language of good design and applied it to something deeply harmful.
Design is not neutral.
Designing Better
If we want a future that values people and the planet, we have to design with intention.
Yes, we need to prove the business value of design. We also need to measure social and environmental outcomes.
While in San Francisco, I joined a panel of design execs hosted by Gordon Ching, founder of the Design Executive Council. One takeaway stuck with me:
Until we can tie design to business outcomes, we’ll always be the function that’s easiest to cut.
I’d add this: Until we can tie design to its long-term impact, we’ll keep delivering harm, just faster and more elegantly.
I’ll be thinking about that next week as I bake my birthday cake.
Thank you for reading.
With love,
Eva
Loved it Eva. So happy you've found writing helpful, it's clear that it comes quite naturally to you. I can hear the wisdom in your voice. It's refreshing to hear someone talk about design, tech, and consumption in such a grounded way. And happy birthday!